Let me explain you
by cherry3108
Summary: I'm bad at summaries but... this OS is a little missing scene of the 4x09, "Kill Shot". And what if Castle had found Beckett in that building, after she saved that young woman life?


So, this is the first english OS I've written, and I'm french… I hope there are not too much mistakes and that you will like it! Please review, I take all your comments ;)

" - Castle ! I'm not a little girl anymore, I can take care of myself !  
- Really?! Look what happened to you! First, I found you alone in this room, in the building where this woman was shot! Then you made a tentative of suicide! I'm sure you can understand if I'm worry!"

*Flash Back*

Earlier in the day, Castle had found Beckett in this room, alone and crying. He had seen her like he never did. When he saw her, she was crying all the tears of her body, completely devastated by the fear to have been shot and to be shot again. He had found her, thanks to her moans. When he came, she didn't want him to stay. However, he stayed and drove her to her apartment. There, she told him she was fine now and ask him to leave, and he left. Next day, he came up to the precinct and found her at her desk, working. He gave her her coffee, and she thanked him. He noticed that she looked tired, like she didn't sleep or was ill. When she drank her coffee, the sleeves of her pullover rolled up. And what Castle saw terrified him. She had white bandages full of blood. He had just seen her wrists that she left, like she wanted to escape Castle's questions. But he followed her and found her outside, on the sidewalk. Her eyes were full of tears. She didn't say anything, neither did he. He just called a cab, and went into it with Beckett. When they arrived at Kate's house, Castle paid the taxi driver and he went up at his muse's door. They entered, and Kate closed the door. Castle didn't ask her if she was fine, he knew she didn't. He just asked :  
" - What happened Kate?"

*End Flash-Back*

" - It wasn't a tentative of suicide Castle!  
- Greeaaat. So, what was it?  
- I… I fell down… and I had my glass in my hand…  
- Really Kate? That's what happened? You run on 10 cm shoes, and you think I'm going to believe you fell down in your own apartment? An apartment you don't know, OK. But yours? I'm not fine with your version of the events.  
- Castle! I don't want to talk about it!  
- And me, I don't want to lose you again Kate! Your heart almost stop beating when you were in my arms! Let this one investigation to the guys, at least!  
- But I can't Castle! I've been shot like those people, except I'm alive and they are dead! I can't give up!"  
Kate was crying now.  
" – If you don't do it for you, do it for your friends, for your dad and your mum. Do you think your dad want to lose his girl? And do you think your mum would like seeing you like this?  
- Castle… don't…" Her voice was broken.  
" – I don't have any choice Kate! I don't want, and nobody wants to assist to your funerals! I watched you die in that ambulance, and Lanie too!  
- I don't want to die Castle, and I won't! I just want to solve my mum's case!"  
It was Rick who had tears of anger in his eyes now.  
" – This case is going to kill you Kate! She already almost did! You told it yourself : "If I dive in my mother case, I'm not going to be able to stop this time."  
- I know Rick. But it is really important to me.  
- I understand Kate. But give up the case with the sniper. Did you took a look in a mirror lasts days? It seems like you didn't eat and sleep since days!  
- I want to give up this case Castle! But I… I just can't! It's live she was stuck to my back, like she was following me everywhere!  
- So, I guess I'm going to help you. There are 4 things to do: first, have a shower, you will be less stressed. Second, I will buy some food, you really need to eat something. Third : get some rest! I'll stay ins your apartment, I don't care if you don't want. Finally, you're going to take a week off. During your shower, I'll call the precinct and tell them you're going to take your week off. Don't speak. It's not a choice!  
- Castle… I don't need another dad…  
- I'm not your dad, I'm your partner and you can say whatever you want, I won't go anywhere! You're letting yourself die!  
- OK, Castle, OK. But don't come in the bathroom, I still wear my gun!" She smiled, and Castle too.  
" – Don't worry detective, I'll be a perfect gentleman! Go have your shower now, you will feel better.  
- OK Castle. You can buy some Chinese?  
- Of course!  
- Thanks Castle. For everything. For helping me even if I don't want, thanks for being so nice with me even if I don't deserve it, and thanks for being here and taking care of me.  
- Always, Kate"  
They smiled to each other, and their eyes made one of their secret conversation. Then, Kate went to the bathroom and Castle ordered the Chinese food. 30 minutes later, the table was set and Beckett got out of the shower. She already looked better. The food arrived, and Castle put it on the table, while Kate said:  
" - You shouldn't set the table Rick, I could do it.  
- It's fine Kate, you were in your shower.  
- Thanks again, Castle."  
He answered by a beautiful smile. When they finished the food, they cleaned the table and drank a glass of red wine in front of an episode of Temptation Lane. Kate already slept in the middle of the first episode, her head on Castle's shoulder, a little smile on her face. Castle turned off the TV and carried his muse to her bed. When he put her on the bed, she woke up.  
" – Castle…  
- Sleep Kate. You need some rest.  
- Stay, please.  
- I'll be on your couch.  
- No. Stay with me, in my bed.

- If you go in another room, it would be like you weren't there, and if you don't stay, I won't sleep. So, please, stay Rick…  
- There is no need to beg me…I'll be happy to be your Teddy!  
- Thanks Rick.  
- Always."  
He went in her bed, and Kate turned herself to him, she had her arm on his chest, and her head was between his shoulder and his head. Rick had an arm around Kate's waist. She fell asleep instantly, a little smile still on her face. Rick smiled when he saw her face, and after he thought Beckett's wall was almost fallen, he fell asleep quickly too.  
When he woke up, Kate wasn't here anymore. He left the bed and found her in her living room, sat on the couch. She looks thoughtful, Castle was able to see she felt troubled. He sat slowly next to her, and she finally saw him.  
"- Castle! I didn't see you were there!  
- I know, detective. What were you thinking?  
- I thought about my life, Rick. Look at me! Every person I care about end up dead! It's like I was cursed!  
- You're not cursed, Kate.  
- And why not?  
- You told it yourself!  
- What did I say?  
- You know, in this case with the mummy, you said that there was no curse!  
- That was before, Castle! Since this case, Royce is dead, Montgomery is dead, I've been shot!  
- But you're alive!  
- Yeah. And every time there is a murder involving a sniper, I'm afraid! It's like it was me who was shot again!  
- But it's not you Kate! You could forgot the shot if you want!  
- I want Castle, but I can't! Please, help me. When you're with me I… I kind of forget all my problems. It's like I had a normal life, without sadness, just happiness!  
- You just have to ask me, Kate, and I'll stay with you!  
- I'm…I'm not ready, Rick. There's still my mother's case, and my scar which reminds me every morning and every evening what happened to me!  
- The scar is a part of you, now, Kate. She doesn't change who you are, what you do. She doesn't drive your life. It's just you, who think you're not the same with it, but you haven't change Beckett! You're still solving murders, you're still the best cop of the NYPD, I'm still boring you, and I'm still and always will following you on cases! Esposito, Ryan, Lanie, your dad, me and all the precinct, we liked you before the shot, and we still like you after, even more!  
- Thanks Castle, but… I don't want to see any of you dead!  
- Why do you want us dead Kate? We're all fine! Look at me Kate. In the eyes. You. Are. Not. Cursed. Curse don't even exist. You've just been unlucky, but it's over now."  
While he had told her this, he gazed her, without blinking. He had accentuated every word, making her understood that he won't leave. She looked at him too. She answered him, still gazing him:  
"- Thanks, Rick. It's really sweet, what you do for me. I never had friends like you before."  
At the end of her sentence, she had lowered her head, ashamed to admit this in front of him. He caught her chin another time, making their eyes meet, and told her:  
"- Always, Kate. I'll always be there for you."  
He embraced her, dissipating all the doubts she could still have.  
"- Come Kate, we're taking a walk in Central Park, it will get you out .  
- Okay, I come."  
They walked during 1.30, holding each other arm. When they come back at Kate's apartment, it was 4.30pm. They watched some episodes of Temptation Lane, and Kate felt asleep at 6.00pm. Rick turned off the TV, and watched Kate sleeping before getting asleep himself 30 minutes after her. An hour later, he woke up, and saw that Kate was still sleeping. An half hour later, Kate woke up. She ask him how long she had slept, and when he answered, she told him that he should have waken her. He said that he had slept too, that wasn't really true, but she didn't need to know that. They both rose, and Castle ordered some food while Kate was having a shower. When she get out of the shower, the food arrived. They ate quietly, watched TV, and when Castle heard Beckett yawn, they went to bed. They both fell asleep quickly, after a little "Good Night" from Kate, and a hopeful "Until tomorrow" from Castle.  
The rest of the week was like the firsts days. They woke up together, walked in Central Park, watched Temptation Lane, ate and then go to bed. When Kate returned to the precinct, all the people asked her why she had taken a week off. Each time, she answered that she was tired, and that she needed some vacation. Castle was still at Beckett's house every evening. But nothing had happened yet. Nobody knew that Castle slept at Kate's apartment almost every night, except his mother and his daughter. He had had a little explanation with Alexis and Martha, who didn't know why he didn't sleep at the loft. After a lot of discussions with Rick, Kate had decided to let her mother's case in background. When she told him her decision, he thought he had to tell her he had investigated alone on her mother's case. She had not been really happy to know that. She had asked to Castle why he did this, he answered that he wanted to protect her and to help her to solve her mum's case. When he told her this, she became angry.  
"- You could have been killed! I know you were trying to help me, but do you think it would help me that you would be dead because of me?!  
- It's why I gave up Kate. I've thrown all the things I had found, please, don't try to find it because you won't. All was destroyed.  
- I won't search it Castle, simply because I decided to stop investigating this case! Maybe not forever, but for a while. This case is driving my life, and I don't want to live through this case anymore! I have finally realized that I could not bring my mum back by solving her murder, she is dead now, and nothing can bring her back!"  
Kate was crying, and Rick was stupefied by her muse. She had let fallen her wall, she had broken her wall herself. He went to her and take her in his arms. She let herself go, and cried all the tears of her body, while Castle whispered her comforting words. Rick carried her to her room, and he put her on her bed, lying himself beside his muse. He embraced her, and she huddled up in his arms, progressively calming down. She said a last "Thanks, Rick" and she fell asleep. Rick answered by a "Sleep, Kate, it's all over now." When he finished his sentence, she smiled, like she had heard him.  
Next morning, Kate woke up in Rick's arms. She was happy in this position. She didn't felt so fine since Rick slept in her apartment. She felt lighter, like…like her inside wall was fallen! Thanking all the gods in who she didn't believe to have put Rick on her way, she huddled up more in Castle's arms, smiling like it was the first time she saw the light. It was kind of that.  
Since 12 years, when her mum had been murdered, she had seen the world in black. Today, everything was high in colors. Her wall was fallen. She couldn't believe it. She had to tell this to Rick. She also had to apologize for lying. She was a bit scared of her writer man reaction. Speaking of him, he was slowly getting awake. Kate looked him like it was the first time. Her eyes were shining of joy. Richard saw it immediately.  
" – How are you Kate?  
- Better than years!"  
Rick already knew that her wall was fallen. He looked at her, happy from her happiness.  
" – I love you Kate" He knew he can told her now.  
- Me too Rick. I never forgot, but please, don't push me back. I wouldn't endure it.  
- I could never blame you. I love you too much. I know why you lied, I don't need any explanation."  
Kate was touched by his declaration. A tear escaped from her eyes, and Rick put his finger on her cheek to wipe the tear away. Then, she leaned over his face and drew her lips near to his. And they kissed. It was the beginning of their new life.


End file.
